Bad Movie Beatdown: Bride Wars (2009) (REVIEW)

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=Originally uploaded August 18th, 2010; Re-edited version=
Film Brain thinks this movie just takes the cake! Season 2, Episode 23.

Comments

Bradley Coates says:

I like Kate!

Jessi2222 says:

Seriously, they could have just had a morning wedding and an evening wedding and then had their own receptions at a later date. It’s not like the reception has to be had the moment after the I Do’s. This would have allowed both of them to have their moments and be at each other’s weddings. The writers really should have made it so only one slot was available, although it’s not that rare for people to wait up to a year after a proposal to have a wedding so one of them waiting for another slot shouldn’t have been a problem at all. And even I know all this despite being a girl who has never had much thought to weddings! Think of how quick it would have been for the writers to think past this lame ‘war’ and think up a couple of decent problems.

jekblom123 says:

13:12

AHhhh ok. It’s THIS movie.

Starlight_Feather says:

Okay, Film Brain, I’ve seen you on Nostalgia Critic before, but this is the first thing of yours I’m actually watching. And that Oompa-loompa bit clinched it; you, my new friend, have earned a subscription!

Troin says:

12:26-12:31 I noticed you cut out the part where you said “I think she’d be healthier if she put some weight on.”

MyssBlewm says:

My best friend and I would have been extremely happy to get married on the same day! We’d get to do everything together! This movie is awful.

Rae Johnson says:

I actually am disgusted when those two woman are having two different panic attacks over their friends getting married. Seriously, one is popping pills and one is angrily melting ice cream to drink it? Do these writers not know what woman are like?! A lot don’t care about getting married and even if they do, like me, we’re not gonna pop pills and melt ice cream.

Floyd Looney says:

The opening narration alone should have had people rushing to get away. Bad movie signalling right there.

teheyepatch says:

Awwww, Chris Pratt????? WHY?!?!?!?!???!?!?!?

Volvagia1927 says:

4:49: Okay, first off: Who puts ice cream in the microwave to begin with…? Secondly: Even if someone DID, she put it on for 46 seconds at full blast. That’s not defrosting it, that’s a sugar soup.

Film Brain says:

Originally posted in August 2010, this video is a re-edited version (upscaled to HD) that runs 2m 59s shorter than the original. This episode has been extensively re-edited as you can tell, significantly cutting down movie clips, a few jokes that I don’t think aged particularly well, and generally tightening up the pacing. In Welshy’s cameo, I’ve fixed both the aspect ratio issues, and also tweaked the lighting in some shots. But the biggest difference may be one you’ll hear: I’ve applied noise reduction to all the on-camera and voiceover segments to eliminate the miniDV camera and tape noise that was persistent many of the early episodes. This was something I learned from editing the Stormbreaker episode, where I needed to apply it to Dom’s voiceover, and then I got the idea to use it on some of the episodes I was re-editing to see if it would work, and I wish I had learned to do this sooner. It’s not perfect, and I’ve tried not to completely erase it so it doesn’t sound too odd, but hopefully it is a major improvement, and will be applied on episodes going forward, both new and old.

One thing that is super-awkward is that this movie has a lot of alumni from the podcast How Did This Get Made, which I quite like (it’s certainly helped out some long train journeys) and discovered well after this review, but there goes my chances of ever being invited on that show… The reason the year is listed in the title is because this got a Chinese remake in 2015, that by all accounts is even worse than this one. This has been re-posted to tie in with the releases of both Ocean’s 8 and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, so enjoy!

charronfilms says:

Star-Lord sounds a lot like Ant-Man in this film.

JanetFunkYeah says:

I find this kind of “chick flick” movies more offensive than all the sexist comments I’ve read in YouTube.
I absolutely loath these movies that paint women as such insipid creatures. And what’s worst is that these characters often display personality traits of the Dark Triad. Such awful, terrible people.

Scotty Lewis says:

The opening montage is like giving me traumatic flashbacks to plumbers don’t wear ties.

Ash says:

This movie is gross.

Xavier St.Pierre says:

I always liked this movie haha

Matthew Cool says:

This “war…” is *LAME!*

Marc Baker says:

13:05 ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!’

ExplorerDS6789 says:

First World Problems: The Motion Picture.

Jami JoAnne Russell says:

Having messed up my hair color once (they put the wrong color in the box) I happen to know they make hair dye remover. They could’ve just used that the same day to get rid of her blue hair.

Scotty Lewis says:

I saw this film a long time ago when I rented it from a library. I regret my decision to this day.

Bradley Coates says:

WOMEN…”?” :(

DragonBat362 says:

(1:52): Hathaway was also in Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, another wedding-themed movie.

Rhyperior Ranger says:

Smile Chris Pratt. Not only did you get to leave this movie early, nobody remembers it and can’t even stain your career with all your successes that overshadow it. Parks and recreation, Jurassic World, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers, and getting Anna Farris pregnant

Minion Jericho says:

Even fat Chris Pratt was too good for this.

Spongelucard VampPants says:

I remember seeing this in a theatre with a bunch of little kids (because the film is PG) which probably made the syrup club scene very awkward for the parents to explain to their kids.

Lady Brightcynder says:

Why’s she throwing such a fit about blue hair? Blue hair is awesome! >:c

DAHAKA, GUARDIAN OF THE TIMELINE says:

One very high scriptwriter: “Quick, one of our characters is a lawyer, what do those sound like!?”
Someone with a hint of reason still unburnt by years of drug abuse: “Ummm, you do realize YOU are writing the story, if you don’t know how they sound like – change it.”
Someone who just woke up from a fever dream with their pants peed wet: “Ummm, “Legally, de facto, I’m like a law person and I do law but judicially it is now hammer time.” ”
Scriptwriter: “I’m a genius!”
The guy who actually wrote that: “I actually wrote that line of dialogue.”
Satan: “Yes, but your heart attack from all the drugs is coming in 3…2…1…”

“You can have it as my last will.” ~ Potty pants’ final words

Tommy Deonauth's Archives says:

You know the sad thing about this whole movie and it’s “conflict”? It could have been fixed! Have the two weddings be at different times on the same date, make one get jealous of the others’ more fancier wedding, replace most of the petty embarrassment attacks with more brutal sabotage like spiking the wedding cake and completely go with the black comedy satire Matt mentioned and the plot would have been fine!

Sure, it might be crap but it would be a more watchable film than the film we got, especially towards the female demographic it was aimed at.

Speaking of, women apparently hate this film. No joke. I found an online list of chick flicks that even women hate years ago and Bride Wars was one of them. Though i’m guessing if you one of those casual comedy movie watchers that just wants to laugh regardless of the movie’s quality… maybe I could see a woman with a different mindset getting their kicks out of this…

The Sentinel says:

You reviewed this?? Unexpected, but not unwelcome.

Charles Schwaniger says:

Wait, was that Chris Pratt?

John the Crazed says:

If I was writing this shit, I would have it be that they both get married to each other. Because it would be more interesting to say they’ve been friends for so long because they’re to nervous to confess their love for each other.

Harmon Lanager says:

How’d I not realize Chris Pratt is in this? Come on, man! You’re Starlord!

Scotty Lewis says:

Why did Candice Bergen say yes to this? You’d think she’d know better.

Kimi FW says:

I also have too much penis for this movie, and I’m a woman.

Rae Johnson says:

As a woman I have to ask, are women this crazy about weddings? Like seriously I’m a woman and I don’t care about a wedding that much. Lol my wedding dress shop will be David’s Bridal or Walmart when they eventually sell wedding dresses and my wedding will be at… the church down the street it’s very high tech. Lol.

ExplorerDS6789 says:

12:47- I see she got the Donald Trump treatment.

Drew Gars says:

Was there like a chinese remake of this back in 2015?

whywherewhenhow says:

but the chocolate thing isn’t lifted from ‘mean girls’, the dance rehearsal is a reference to ‘bring it on’, vera wang is the most famous wedding designer in the world, which you’d know if you didn’t have a flaming disdain for anything ‘girly’. spreaking of, the general tone of this review is mysoginistic as shit. and get me man, i don’t like this movie, nor do i like cringey exploitative rom coms and i find them equally insulting to both genders, but see how i can express that opinion without coming off as insulting to women every 2 minutes.

Konstance Miles says:

Mat, I’m not into fashion at all and I know who Vera Wang is, ya goof.

takkycat says:

Hmmm… I’m a woman and I have too much of a penis for this movie…

Jerome Lancashire says:

7:18 Because deep down they don’t want to marry their boyfriends they wanna marry each other. Hey do that for the overly manly men I can do that for the extreme girly girls.

Brandon Croker says:

Van Montgomery, no!

Matthew Walton says:

Yes Welshy, Anne Hathaway is gorgeous, but that’s not enough to save any horrible character that she may play.

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